Mother Nature's Uglier Side (South Carolina Edition)

The wind that delivered autumn to our neck of the woods blew so violently yesterday afternoon that it managed to knock down a 12 foot tall orange sunflower.  I confronted hubby about the downed plant this morning.  Less than ten days ago, he had complained about the one branch of it dying immediately beneath the eave of the house (likely what helped keep it erect!), so I suspected him.  He assured me that it wasn't him; Mother Nature in her season-changing mood had done the deed between my departure to  Daughters of the Nile and his arrival from work.  Make NO mistake, I am grateful beyond measure that Mother Nature brought autumn and purged the heat and humidity pretty much instantly (alas, probably not permanently).  I just wish she'd have spared the pride of my bee-luring flower garden!

This week I also noticed a particularly nasty fungus growing just outside the window of our kitchen/dining room.  It resembles toadstools sprouting from liquified manure, less any aroma.  Hubby reminded me that it's likely attached to a tree root that is decomposing more than a year after we had a wild cherry tree cut down in that area.  I'm sure he's right, but it's still icky looking!

Fire Ants continue to be a plague in our yard; I could almost swear that the bastards hibernate!  (If you've never been bitten by them, please refrain from judging my use of that word.)  Because they are known to swarm and bite simultaneously (nasty buggers!), I anticipate spreading bifenthrin on visible mounds before our granddaughter visits us next week.  As a rule, I've always preferred organic methods in our yard (hence the grits), but sometimes a little chemical assistance is warranted, especially where the health and safety of a small child are concerned.  Also, this is what's recommended by the "grumpy gardener" columnist in Southern Living, so as a Yankee transplant who is STILL learning about my Carolina garden, I'll trust his advice (especially since he reports having spread it in his yard in April and having had ZERO fire ants for the next SIX MONTHS!).

The Case of the Common Cold Giggles (from 1/12/22)

  In the dim light of the dawn, it began.  "Tee hee!"  Followed immediately by, "Ah-CHOO!"

"Ugh," he grunted, rolling over in frustration at being awakened by this.

"Sorry," I murmured, leaving our bed to prepare for the day.  As I went through my routine of showering, brushing teeth, styling hair, applying makeup, and donning a "power" business suit suitable for a court hearing, this pattern repeated itself too many times to be counted.  My eyes were also running, thus I opted to forego eye makeup in the interest of not looking like a raccoon before my arrival at the office.

He returned to our bedroom with hot coffee to sip between shaving and showering, observing my continued pattern of titters followed immediately by sneezes.  "Can't you stop that annoying giggling?  It's getting on my nerves already."

"It's a good thing we don't work together; imagine how annoyed by it I am!  Tee hee, ah-CHOO!  Oh, testifying this afternoon is going to be a hoot if I can't control this, isn't it?"  The irksome giggle-sneeze pattern continued to repeat as I assembled a stew to cook in the slow cooker in our absence and ate a light breakfast before heading outdoors to travel to work.  During my entire forty-five minute drive, the giggle-sneezes continued intermittently, little deterred by my valiant efforts to suppress the titters.

Upon arrival and before a scheduled virtual consultation with the regional treatment team, I popped into my supervisor's office to advise her of my predicament, which of course was punctuated by "tee hee, ah-CHOO!" several times in ten minutes.

"Oh, you're going to be enjoyable to hear on the stand later," she chortled, fully aware of how much I disliked testifying in court on the best of days.

"I'm sure Judge Maldonado will be thrilled, too," I muttered before another giggle-sneeze interrupted.  "I hope we can get an agreement in this matter so I won't be doing this under oath!"

A short time later, with a hot cup of herbal tea beside me, I joined the virtual meeting to discuss the progress of a child I have been working with for several months.  Before I could even say hello to anyone, I greeted the gathered professionals with, "Tee hee, ah-CHOO!"

"Sneezing is funny?" one colleague inquired.

I shook my head, "No," followed by, "Tee hee, ah-CHOO!" several times.

"Someone has the giggles," posited the clinical consultant.

"Sorry; it started this morning; the giggle has preceded EVERY sneeze since I woke up.  Do you have any possible psychological explanation for this?"

"Unfortunately, no," the clinical consultant replied.  "Are you able to control the giggle at all?"

"I tried during my entire 45 minute drive in this morning, to no avail."

As it was a virtual meeting, I was fortunately able to mute myself until it was absolutely necessary to speak.  Since I had provided a written update on the youth in advance and all team members were able to read that, they were treated to fewer than ten giggle-sneezes during our discussion.

My lunch was a generous portion of chicken noodle soup from a local delicatessen, in the hopes that this would both relieve all of my symptoms (especially that damned giggle!) before I had to testify in court.  The soup was delicious; however, it did not have the effect I desired.  Arriving at the courthouse, the security staff were greeted with, "Tee hee, ah-CHOO!" before the door closed behind me.

My supervisor met me in the waiting area.  "Got enough tissues for your giggle-sneezes?" she asked.

I patted my tote bag.  "An entire box, with quite a few already in the pockets of my slacks for on the stand."

"Now we just need to kill those giggles if possible."

"I've been trying all day; if I can, I'll stifle them!"

When my hearing was called, I entered the courtroom and took my seat at the plaintiff's table, along with the agency attorney.  I passed him a note immediately, which warned him of my giggle-sneezes that had been going on all day and defying any conscious effort by me to control the giggle portion of same.

"Hopefully you won't be on the stand long; I think we may have an agreement," he whispered before addressing the judge.  "Your Honor, this is the case of DC&P versus John Doe and Jane Doe in the matter of James Doe.  It is my understanding that there may be an agreement in this matter, Your Honor; the court's indulgence for me to speak with opposing counsel?"

"Of course, Mr. Reynolds."

A brief exchange between the two attorneys did, indeed, lead to an agreement that prevented my giggling & sneezing self from having to testify.  I was grateful, and somehow I managed to not giggle-sneeze once until Judge Maldonado rendered her decision and dismissed all parties from the courtroom.  "Bless you!" she said to me as everyone rose from their seats for her to retire to chambers.

"Thank you, Your Honor.  Excuse me," I darted out of the room anticipating a fit of giggle-sneezes now that the pressure was off.  Once I got beyond the waiting room to the ladies' room, I giggle-sneezed roughly eight or nine times in rapid succession.  Finally thinking I was done, I left the restroom to head to my car, pausing only long enough to tell my supervisor that I would most definitely not be coming in the next day.

During my drive home, I giggle-sneezed somewhat at will.  By the time I finished my supper, which was hot and waiting for me upon arrival at home, the giggles were finally abating.  I can only suppose, despite the lack of explanation by the clinical consultant, that it was triggered by the nerves over having to testify while sniffling.

Policing the Social Media "Police" (from 2/22/22)

I am reasonably certain that I'm not alone in observing how a particular social media site's self-policing has moved from practically non-existent to absurdly frivolous since the 2021 holiday season.  Some samples of this inanity include:

claims that inaccurate information was shared (with no specifics as to what they're referring to);

a gardeners' support page on which a user was nearly banned for using the word "hoe" (in an appropriate gardening context!);

a religious forum on which posters were zapped for discussing a recent condemnation of a Catholic priest who "used the incorrect pronoun" and thus rendered null and void the major religious rites of hundreds of adherents;

vague references to being posted further down the feeds of others due to the site's perceived "relevance" (apparently of the posting party).

While I respect and appreciate as a writer who actually studied JOURNALISM in college that there need to be efforts made to limit the spread of "fake news" and other inaccuracies as much as possible, it would be helpful for these social media reviewers to be CONTENT-SAVVY to best reach a happy medium.

By the way, WHY did this only become so picayune more than a year AFTER the 2020 U.S. Presidential election?  That in itself begs more questions!

CH-ch-ch-ch-changes (with apologies to the late David Bowie)

 Tomorrow is the Autumnal Equinox; usually a herald of substantially cooler weather, shorter days, longer nights, beautiful foliage as winter approaches.  This year has been one full of changes for me, so the fact that the weather is, in my humble opinion, finally catching up, is a bit of a relief.

Ten months ago I retired from a career in child welfare and haven't looked back, except to breathe a long overdue sigh of relief and to begin to focus more on myself--my interests, my physical health, my future.  I feel it took most of those ten months to allow the filthy residue those years left behind to be purged from my spirit.  Besides this change, the first of my parents died early in the summer after a lengthy battle with dementia and diabetes; both conditions I aspire to NOT inherit insofar as I am able to stave them off (hence my increased physical health focus).  To that end, I have been faithful in attendance at a weekly yoga class at our local Y, plus doing yoga videos, taking walks, or riding a stationery bicycle between my Tuesday night stretch and socialize sessions.

As the new school year began late last month, I also offered myself as a substitute teacher at the private school where my husband is on staff.  To date I have enjoyed the experience; it's nice to see children in a far more positive setting than in the midst of familial crises.  Not that those youths require less attention; far from it!  There are simply different needs for the different children's circumstances.

Change was a theme at yoga last night, which reminded me of the recent loss of my mother and the far less recent loss of her witty, wise guy personality to her illness.  It not only robbed her of the sure knowledge of who each member of her family was, but along with the Covid pandemic, it deprived her of the joy of meeting either of her great grandchildren until hours before her passing.  At her memorial service the weekend before what would have been her 85th birthday, my sister and I told stories that included snippets of her personality, including her love of music, her passion for ballet (she'd once hoped to dance professionally), and her unwillingness to suffer fools gladly--including an extremely inappropriate turn of phrase she often hurled at our father in frustration and anger.  My equally wise guy husband deemed this phrase, "a classic" and we had to edit it for reporting to a mixed audience that included my three year old granddaughter.

My personal goals for the next year are as follow:

1)  Lifestyle changes to promote healthier weight (for both me AND hubby)

2)  More time spent with our grandchildren

3)  Focus on the positives as much as humanly possible  

4)  Blog at least once per week